A little over a year ago I began to deal with my pride on a deeper level than I ever have before. There were dark places in me that had not yet been revealed and may not have been revealed if it weren't for a dark time in my life.
It is disheartening sometimes when you don't want to be a certain way, but you find yourself struggling with it anyway. When the moment reveals those deep struggles it kicks up dust in your soul. It makes you sneeze and cough violently in a desperate attempt to kick it out of your system. It hurts and sometimes creates rage, but when the dust settles and your heart rate begins to slow down; all of a sudden, you find yourself in rest. I found a part of my soul in that rest after struggling with some outward pride issues.
I see some more dust getting kicked up as inward pride issues are being brought to the surface. I see dust getting kicked up over subtle lust issues that I didn't know I had.
I see dust getting kicked up over fear of failure.
I need prayer as the dust fills my nostrils and dips into my lungs. I want to kick this out of my system. But right now I don't know exactly how, nor do I know how much this will hurt. But I look forward to the day when the dust settles and I can rest in the fact that God has taken care of it.
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